I may even share a link to this to people I know. It’s a big step. Oh, and thank you, Lily.

I’m writing this blog to chronicle some of the randomness and serendipity of my life at this moment, share it with my friends, and hopefully, have it be a structure for expression, meaning, and useful new realizations.

It’s unintentional but somehow fitting that I’m starting this blog my first morning in Tokyo. After two weeks of loafing in San Francisco and a one-day stopover in LA (a sort of hiding out period for me), I’m in Asia. In a way, this feels like a return to the homeland and a reconnection with my roots…it’s close enough without being too close (i.e., it’s not Korea).

Traveling alone is euphoric, freeing, self-affirming, and expansive. It’s also a bit scary and intense in some ways. The last time I did a big Asian “sojourn” (if that doesn’t sound overly melodramatic, or even if it does) was in 2012 after the end of an 11-year relationship. It was a return to myself, and Asia was a sort of homing beacon for me. Now I’m back for Eat Pray Love, Part 2, complete with a planned trip to Bali.

For the past 6 weeks or so, I’ve been flitting around between NYC, Colorado, San Francisco, Yosemite, Boston, and a day in LA. My hope is that at some point, I will figure out what I want to do with my life…or at least settle on some definitive next step.

The past two weeks in my healing cocoon in San Francisco has been amazing. I don’t think I ever really internalized how important and growth-promoting it can be to do nothing and live life with little expectations, obligations, and “shoulds.” It’s nice to explore the “wants.” It’s weird how hard it can be to tap into what we really “want” to do, even at the micro-level. Do I want ice cream or pizza? Very difficult question.

My SF activities/accomplishments:

• Autonomically clicking the “next episode” button of Orphan Black. Seasons were covered.
• Ordering expensive coffees at Ritual Coffee Roasters and using this time to stare off into the distance.
• Obsessively reading Atkins blogs and forums.
• Interviewing/pitching myself to startups and answering questions that seriously made me question the viability of working for other people or companies ever again.
• Classpass’ing on the easy setting.
• Bumbling, Tindering. Instaconnections. Making new friends. Lovely.
• Re-learning how to do normal people things again. For example, cook regularly, do laundry, stay in one place for more than a few days.
• Dreaming! I started dreaming again. I suppose I never stopped, but it’s good to be aware of it happening.
• WAY TOO MUCH RUMINATING. I suppose thinking can be helpful if you think the right way. Being present is probably more useful.

SF was glorious. I could have done it for ever and ever and ever. And it scared me. The bubble was too comfortable.

Alas, today is my first day in Japan, in Tokyo. I am well-rested after my surprise first-class booking. I am at my love of loves, Starbucks. I feel no pressure to plan my Tokyo itinerary or check too many checkboxes.

We’re off to a good start.