“During the full moon, not much sleep. The energy is too strong. One day before and one day after too,” my new friend Smiling Buddha had said the day before.

I don’t know if it was the energy, the arak drinks, my neuroses, or the deafening sounds of roosters and other wildlife, but yes, I had tossed and turned all night and was up by 5am. I was plagued by the usual inertia. I really don’t want to do anything, but I’m also going to be miserable doing nothing. And I am certainly not going to plan a thing. Herein lies the basic problem of my general condition.

I managed to get myself up for long enough to half-heartedly check out the (ok, fairly stunning) sunrise.

Feeling anti-social, I headed into breakfast and encountered Smiling Buddha, who informed me that we would be eating mackerel together that night and then drinking the champagne he had been saving for 7 months. He had never had champagne before. Great. Feeling the weight of obligation, I smiled politely and felt heavy, constrained. (Ugh, I just want to sit by myself in my bungalow and stare at the ceiling all day and night long! JEBUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I spent the late morning snorkeling in the fabulous Coral Gardens right off the Meditasi beach with a German father and his two kids. When I looked panicked, he helped me with my mask, and we floated along together surrounded by a density of underwater creatures and coral damaged most likely by the fishing boats that went out to sea daily. The dad held his teenage daughter’s hand much of the way, and they communicated silently and with their hands so sweetly while I nervously kept one eye on the fish and the other on my companions.

The afternoon was spent trying to set up Smiling Buddha’s AirBNB account. Why do I always volunteer to help people with stuff like this?

I left the grounds only briefly to find some wifi and write my last post from slightly higher ground 100 meters away.

And then I walked back to Meditasi as the clouds hung beauteously overhead. I wondered if it would rain that night.

At 7pm, we commenced what had already started to feeling like a routine after one night – cleansing, healing, dinner, meditation. As Smiling Buddha prepared to pour the metal canister of water over my head for the grand finale, we were interrupted by a late 20s-ish/early 30s-ish fit blonde European couple who had just entered the grounds.

“Uhhhhhh….restaurant?” the girl asked looking like she was ready to bolt.

I was embarrassed in my sarong and holy sash. I sort of gave her a quick smile, averted my eyes, and then cleared way for them to pass. Smiling Buddha welcomed them and pointed them to the restaurant right behind us.

Then the Balian baptism of water. Still felt like a grumpy drowned cat in spite of knowing what to expect.

Smiling Buddha could not join me for dinner because he had been called by two others in town for full moon healing sessions. I enjoyed the fresh-caught mackerel myself. Overcooked as is typical for the non-Western palate, but it was yummy. The restaurant was popping off with lots of groups.

Finally, Smiling Buddha was back, and we went out to the beach for our full moon meditation session.

We sat facing each other on the yoga mat, and suddenly, the waves almost overtook our mat. We jumped back behind the fishing boats and resumed the session. I transcended beyond any meditation experience I felt before. I felt very clear, my mind blank, and then an image appeared. I was looking out on a terrace – a rooftop terrace – panning out onto skyscrapers. Manhattan! My mind’s eye, looking nothing really like the real thing. I need to go home.

Smiling Buddha and I drank the bottle of champagne. He seemed disappointed by the alcohol concentration and continued on to a LARGE beer. He said he would never forget the July 19th full moon.

“In 10 years I have this hotel, I only meet two other people like you. You are a very special person, good person, with good energy.” One of them had been Elizabeth Gilbert. He said knew it right away from my email and offered me the discount to take the room as well.

He asked me to stay longer.

I didn’t want to, but I decided I would wait to tell him.

“Enjoy the moment! Don’t think about the past. When you enjoy the moment, you are always in paradise!”

I did and everything in the present moment, all the details of the waves, came into sharp relief and focus. Then I faded again.