Marettimo is one of the tiny Aegadian Islands off the northwest coast of Sicily. Population is 300 to 700 depending on the season, and the community thrives off fishing and, to some extent, tourism. This is neither international nor domestic tourism. Rather, these are mostly Sicilian tourists from the town of Trapani, about as local as it gets. It may be the first and last time in a century that people have seen an Asian person. I was happy to provide some entertainment.

From Palermo, I took a 1.5-hour bus ride from Central Station to Trapani, where I met my good friend Liuda, who had arrived from Rome. We then hopped on a 1.25-hour ferry ride to Marettimo, where her friends have a house.

Immediately, I started decompressing to an extent that was almost painful. I’ve been nothing but a zombie queen for days. Ludmilla and I stayed at a tiny B&B called Rosa dei Venti, where we discovered that our key actually opens every room in the house (whatever). We met up with two other families during the day and for dinner and activities, which was the perfect balance.

I found myself integrated into a loving Italian clan, all living in London but from Milan and Rome originally. From what I could tell, they were rather aristocratic as well, heading from Marettimo to family estate destinations in the south of France and northern Italy.

My mornings were spent at La Scaletta, a local eatery with tables facing the harbor, sipping espressos and Cafe Americanos and progressively incorporating more and more carbs into my breakfast diet. It started with a piece of bread with my omelette on morning 1 and culminated with 2 slices of Sicilian pizza and some sweets this morning. It’s good I’m getting out of here tonight.

Afternoons were spent boating around the deep blue and turquoise waters to the other side of the island, eating (duh), sunning myself uncomfortably and unnaturally splayed on a 30-degree angled rock, playing soccer (no, I don’t know how to really play), and walking to the Casa Romana, which I believe was an observation point during Roman times (really???).

Aperitivos and dinner spanned the night. Cooking typically started at 9pm, and we ate around 10pm. Long, meandering dinners on the rooftop terrace were the norm. We ate scampi risottos, fiorentina jumbo steaks, and a crazy but delicious cake called cassata. My stress and guilt level regarding my waistline has been mounting for the past month. The next post may be a diet status update post.

It was a great period to zone out. I loved playing with the children, who adored me and adopted me as one of their own. My maternal instinct to a low-burning extent was sparking or maybe it was just a desire to connect with others. Parenthood honestly seems super difficult and like hell on earth. As my friend Susa aptly put it, the highs are higher and the lows are lower. I could definitely see that. All of this made me think about family, living in Italy, and adopting a lifestyle very different to the one I had been used to living.

For me, this current period is about discovery but also a certain vulnerability and openness. The person who has always been super competent, structured, and with everything all together (though sometimes hanging by a thread) has created somewhat of a mess of her life and is open to sharing that with the world. The upside of all of this is that I’m finally showing my true self in all of its moments of euphoria, confusion, pitfalls, and panic. I mean, something has to come of that, right?

My consulting business will continue for an interim period. I may still go to Jeju in Korea as planned in September. I may also take a leap of faith and try some new things. The two tracks I will be exploring career-wise are the potential to work in: (1) arts, music, fashion and (2) humanitarian fields.

Yes, this is a bit of a word dump, but my brain is immersed in foggy nothingness. I will upload photos later when I have a decent internet connection. <3

A picture Ludmilla inexplicably likes of me. I think I look busted – scrunchy chipmunk face.