One of the most common questions I’m asked when I tell people I’m Korean is, “Are you North Korean or South Korean?” No matter how many times I’m asked this question, I am surprised and caught off guard every time I’m asked. I can’t help but return a look of bewilderment before responding that I’m South Korean.

There are a number of reasons for this reaction. First of all, North Korea is so locked down that the likelihood of me being North Korean is pretty low. Secondly, if I were North Korean, I probably would not admit it. Thirdly, Koreans just don’t really think that way. We are Korean. Yes, we had a devastating war 60 years ago that divided our country in two, but as a nation, we are still one in some ways. It is getting more distant, but it is still the recent enough past that our parents remember a time when Korea was one.

When many people think of North Korea, they think of the leader, the cult of personality, the nuclear weapons being developed. It is a geopolitical outlook. When I think of North Korea, I think first of an image I saw in the New York Times when I was young. People with my faces who could look like family were starved with their skin stretched out across their bones and hanging. The realities of famine, labor camps, and life for most people in North Korea are devastating. (One of the most moving books I’ve read is Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick.)

I think of the satellite images of North Korea at night, the dark spot amid a world lit up by lights and technology. I think of the efficacy of brainwashing and the desperation and impossibility of the situation. Is it better to believe that the rest of the world is weak and trying to destroy you? Our minds are our worlds. It is going to hurt to find out that the rest of the world has been progressing and has felt abundance and freedom while you have endured such scarcity. Where is the justice in that?

So while I do very much hope for unification, it is going to be hard. I suspect that the South Koreans will not be 100% welcoming to their northern neighbors. There are limited resources and certainly plenty of economic and social challenges (and cultural ones as well!) to navigate.

These are some of the thoughts that were going through my head as I traveled north from Seoul to the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) separating North and South Korea.

The highlight of a tour to the border is the opportunity to visit the JSA (Joint Security Area) where you can see – and in some cases, meet – North Korean soldiers. This requires at least 3-4 days notice and scans of passports.

We didn’t have our act together enough to secure the JSA booking, so we opted for the DMZ area only. At the time of our visit, North and South Korean relations had significantly deteriorated. Economic aid was slowing down, as demonstrated by the closure of several transit mechanisms built to connect the North and South to deliver aid and electricity.

The itinerary:

• Imjingak Park: Imjingak Village is the further north point in South Korea where South Koreans can go freely without government permission. This park was built to console those from both sides who were unable to return to their hometowns and lives due to the division of Korea. We had to transfer buses here and handle all the paperwork to go further north. The absolutely ridiculous thing in my mind was the mini-amusement park in the parking lot catering to Chinese tourists!

• Freedom Bridge: The Bridge of Freedom is where 13,000 prisoners of war were traded at the end of the Korean War. It is located in Imjingak Park. It is a footbridge only used to trade back prisoners of war. Because the DMZ is so heavily landmined, this type of bridge is necessary for the exchange.

• The 3rd Infiltration Tunnel: The North Koreans dug many secret tunnels with the intention of surprise attacks in Seoul. This is among the most impressive of the tunnels discovered to date.

• DMZ Theater / Exhibition Hall: We watched a movie detailing the history and observed some of the monuments nearby.

• Dora Observatory: On top of Dorasan (Mount Dora), you can glimpse the fake North Korean city through binoculars. On both sides of the 38th parallel, there are a number of propaganda cities.

• Dorasan Station: This is a railway station that once connected North and South Korea. The train used to travel northward, but the border was closed to South Korean freight passing through North Korea in 2008. It is incredible to me how much of an island South Korea is, especially when you look at the potential of the broader transit network that would otherwise extend into Europe!