On Christmas Eve, I was sitting in the breeze of the Kirana eating my breakfast of croissants, chicken bruschetta sandwich, and yogurt, fruit, and granola. I’m not going to lie – it was extremely pleasant (and caloric). I was waffling (not food-wise but mentally) about whether I should hole up and be alone or spend Christmas with three other groups – Jay and the nomads, John and his Singapore/HK crew, or with Jake in the Bukit.

Ever since the summer, I have been wondering if I should see Jake again. I met him 5 years ago in Bali. He’s a surfer who’s been living between Bali, Hawaii, and CA for the past 20 years and a good friend, though things can certainly be strained and odd between us for whatever reason…probably many reasons. He invited me to come stay at his place for the duration of my stay in Bali. He’s always so warm and welcoming, but our worlds could not be more different. His friends seem to all have past criminal records, have served prison time, and do bong rips before surfing in the ocean. The only thing I really want right now is to be taken to a nice fine dining Italian dinner. We have our basic human kindness in common and care for each other deeply even though we seem to barely speak the same language.

So to the Bukit I went. The taxi pulled up to the familiar McDonald’s where I had a cheeseburger and almost a nice cry after visiting him in July. And there we were again, like no time had passed at all. Back to JW Pizza in Jimbaran to meet his friend Roberto…seemingly as per usual.

The next day was Christmas, and we cooked breakfast, I led a yoga session, and we went to Nusa Dua. So beautiful.

But I had to go.

Now I’m back in Seminyak.

It was a good visit. It gave me clarity. It made me realize how much I’ve grown and changed over the past few months and how much more growth is needed. One of those measuring stick moments.