It was the last week of freshman year of college, and I found myself screaming at the top of my lungs in the quad in front of John Jay Hall at Columbia University. My boyfriend had just left my expensive camera in a taxi, and I completely lost it. Looking back, I now realize that it was not this event alone but the accumulation of events dosed with heavy immaturity that led to this outburst. Our friends looked at us agape, feeling awkward, and likely thinking that I was some monster. At the time, I think I must have imagined that they were on my side and that I was yelling and proving my case so obviously.
When we are young, arguing can feel so real and potent. A necessary component of passion and love, so raw and so real. He would always beg us not to fight, and I would argue that it was healthy to fight.
Now I see it as being somewhere in the middle. It is necessary to figure out the best way to be honest and express yourself without being destructive.
My last night in Seoul reminded me of many other poignant endings and moments in my life. I sometimes try to find things that are wrong, so I can be upset…maybe it makes me feel more in control. Maybe it’s a cry for help. Continue reading Is fighting in a relationship healthy?
