I sealed it, wrapped it up, closed the sequence. Or was it the many layers of an onion or the ages shown in the slices of tree trunks?

When I left corporate life in May, I wasn’t sure where to go and what I should do? I had no real plan, though there was an imprint of one in my head asking to be articulated. I would lay in my bed for hours, mind racing through cities, jobs, and possible futures? I believe strongly in intuition, and I believed that if I kept spinning these options around in my head, one would just feel “right.” But the answers never came, and so instead of thinking myself into an answer, I just started living. Instead of asking my brain if I wanted to move to San Francisco, I got on a plane and went there. Continue reading 2016, 2017, life was a palindrome of experience →

San Francisco was a nest. I flew in a little hatchling straight into my friend’s house on Guerrero Street in the Mission, and I cozied up in her guest room. From time to time, I would sneak bites of the ever-growing chocolate stash accumulating in her kitchen. This was her latest project, obsession, and future business venture. Based on my consumption patterns and the fact that I never ever eat chocolate otherwise, I would say that her business is going to be a raging success.

My New Year’s Eve evening is reflective of my current state of being and hopefully isn’t a harbinger of things to come. I sat around sick for much of a day and started to coordinate plans. Liz brought me a plate of chicken and risotto from upstairs. And then I was in bed tucked away by 10:30pm.

The theme of 2017 is learning to sleep.

The other day, I was sitting in a shed of sorts playing the guitar and learning the blues. It seems to have carried over through the days. This morning, I woke up at 3am, wide awake. I laid in semi-consciousness as day started to break. Then I found myself on my yoga mat at 7am feeling a bit blue and displaced. Of course these moments are expected, and I’m lucky not to have them too frequently anymore. They have been there all along.

There I was horizontal on my yoga mat. A block was propped underneath my spine. My chest and arms were sprawled out. My mind was almost empty. And then there were flickers of thought. I won’t get into the vagaries of my mind and what Ekhart Tolle would call the “pain-body.”

I contemplated the dirt all around me. I think there is sand sticking to every part of my body. Do I have bed bugs or are these all mosquito bites? I’ve never seen my hair this matted against my face. My body has had enough carbs to last a lifetime. I haven’t eaten meat in at least a week but basically now for almost 6 weeks. I gave up coffee about a month ago. I don’t drink alcohol anymore. I am tired of saying hello and goodbye to people. Who is this person? And why is she so sanitized and so unproductive? Continue reading Nomad blues →

Last night, the moon started to come up, big in the horizon, the biggest moon we’ve seen on earth since 1948. It coincided with a few other both solemn and spiritual events.

It was the last day of the 30-day mourning period for King Bhumibol Adulyadej, the beloved king and ruler of Thailand for 70 years. It was the end of an era. And of course, at some point, we all need to move forward with the day-to-day.

The other big occasion is the annual festival of Loy Krathang, a festival paying homage to the water goddess at the end of the main rice season and harvest season. People gather at water sources with elaborate offerings adorned with lit up candles and incense and allow these ornamented pieces to float away. There is a beautiful cutting energy around letting go of past misfortunes and letting all the anger and grudges you have held onto float away down these canals. It marks the start of a year of good luck.